Wednesday, June 8, 2011
When someone wrongs you, it is your duty as a self-respecting, God-fearing man to demand satisfaction. And we don't mean going down to the courthouse and wasting time filing papers. Complaints. Petitions. Motions. Leave it to the old ladies to handle their quarrels in that manner. It is unmanly to dawdle when your pride and good name is at stake. Men are morally obligated to dispatch a villain at first light. They need to get him out on an open field and send him straight to his maker. God is, after all, the ultimate judge and he should be the one to reckon with that sorry soul.
Our experienced instructors will teach you the appropriate shot for every offense. A man insults your wife and you want his death to be long and painful. You need to shoot him in a particular area of the stomach so that you don't destroy a vital organ but you assure the man will bleed to death before he can be taken to a hospital. A lesser offense, such as a man allowing his dog to shit on your lawn, calls for a clean head wound. It would be gross and sadistic to have the man suffer long for such a minor transgression.